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He sits in his old car waiting
for me to arrive
Passing the seconds
Knowing that mommy took
me away
Leaving my broken daddy
Memories flood his mind
Anger seeps in
I love my daddy but mommy
doesn’t
Rage empowers her being
Control she must have
Leaving my broken daddy
Twisted and torn by the people I
love
How am I to choose
Leaving broken me
Between Jacobs and the lumber
mill
An old cement wall
Generations would sit and pass
time
With friends
Sitting on the wall with a
cigarette in one hand
Feeling the wind fly through the
other
This small town hang out had
become my world
Laughing with a group of friends
Crying over the break up of my
first love
Years later as I walk a straight
line down that wall
Grazing the bumps of the cement
I realize the meaning of this wall
Each bump represents a time
An emotion
A friendly smile
Tears of joy and pain
Divided
I stray from one to the other
Then back again
Divided in many ways
Trying not to show too much
emotion
Locked within myself
Fearing the day for a decision
Two hearts made me
One day with love
Now divided
Scorn feelings
Throwing words
War starts
Ending with a decision
Ending with me
Why Do I Care
I have put my heart into
caring
I have put my heart on the
line
Feeling sorry for you and
hearing
excuses why
So many jumbled up
emotions filling
my soul
Pulling me in different
directions
Wondering why I care
Will your life turn out the
way you
plan
Or are we all just dancing in
circles
My speeches seem so
useless
My tears are all dried up
All I have now is my reasons
Why I care so much
I try to leave the past behind
But two tear drops fall
I try to move on
Without a care in the world
Holding on to a box of memories
Sorting through the rubble in my
heart
Knowing time can heal my
wounds
Two tear drops fall
Viewing all our home movies
Separating family pictures
Keeping some to remind me
One day we were happy
Two tear drops fall
Feeling guilty to our children
Should we have given it one
more try
Two tear drops fall
Holding the hand of my child
In a hospital bed he lay
Tubes and machines keeping
his body alive
Stroking his soft skin
Slowly gliding one finger after
another through his hair
A long week of the chicken pox's
Learning to ride his bike
The winning slide into home
base
On my knee's beside my son
praying for a twitch
A sign of a life I once knew
Ripples in life
Some are very painful
Handed down through
generations
Depression
Anxiety
Weight gain
Anorexia
Suicide
Alcoholism
Joint smoker
Cocaine sniffer
Years of research
Is it in the genes
Does it skip a generation
To invade another
Change falls within
It all starts with one ripple
But travels into an ocean
I call out your name
My voice echoes back
Are you there
Sitting on the front porch
Waiting to hear your
footsteps
Are you there
Driving in my car
Radio screaming
Are you there
Watching the sunset
When another day has gone
Are you there
Sleepless nights alone
I want to stay in this once
warm bed
Are you there
Crouching on the fresh grass
With my fingers I follow your
name with tears
Do you see me
Walking up to the podium
With a scroll in my hand
Looking into the audience
Of thousands
Praying this speech can deliver
praise
Encouragement beyond the
depths of man
Focusing on the futures at hand
Knowing there is many that will
fall through the cracks
Few will achieve the dreams they
have set
Holding my scroll I read on
Caps and gowns shine with
excitement
Knowing this day will be a
milestone
Am I conscious
Am I alive
Holding on so tightly
Feeling my body fade into the
distance
Looking at a light that seems so
dim
Please God not yet
Listening to the sadness
The presence of tears
Grasping to what I feel is real
Lost forever
My heart no longer breaks
Tears no longer fall
Joy now surrounds my sorrow
I have found a place
I've longed to see
I now take my finial steps in
heaven
Releasing all the pain
